Seven years strong doing this now! Towards the end of every year I do a run-down and reflection of how the last year went. I’m sure I did a Tarot prediction for this year but I’ve no idea where I made notes on this… so we’re doing without!
Compared to 2023, this year has been a lot slower and quieter, a lot more emotionally challenging, and much more financially insecure (due to multiple application rejections)… BUT it’s also been a great year in terms of building confidence as a performer, developing community, travelling and making good friends. So let’s get recapping!
January
I felt fairly optimistic moving into January, despite having next to no work lined up… but the Universe provided in 2023 so I was quietly confident that it would just continue. January was marked by Wassail at the Orchard (I was the Orchard Flame) and the Petals Day meetup, supporting with the watery exhibition at Ferens Art Gallery (via a lovely Flourish workshop and being on the Ferens Late Panel) and the Into The Woods audition with Hull Musical Theatre Company. Despite being fresh to performing and it being a small cast with a lot of auditionees, I got the role of Lucinda (one of Cinderella’s bitch step-sisters).
February
In February there was the Shorelines Celebration – in which I read a friends poem and screened Where The Beings Are – and the start of a lovely mentoring project with the Peel Project. There was also a lovely trip to London to see my family, a trip to play with the meerkats at Bridlington and the start of Into The Woods rehearsals!
Also published an article called ‘A Curly Wurly Research Practice‘ on The Critical Fish website, to articulate and expand upon how I consider an artistic research practice to be.
March
Things started picking up a bit more in March, including applying and and interviewing for the most perfect (for me) funded PhD – which I didn’t end up getting. The ReWilding Practice programme with Feral Art School started, which included a visit to the GF Smith paper-making factory (where I went up in a big ole cherry picker in an attempt to be brave lol). I also delivered a lovely two-week programme with Orb Arts in Knarsborough, supporting their Pathways group to creatively and sensitively connect to this piece of land they’re exploring. I also delivered a workshop with the Hull Parent Carers group, Our Big Picture in Grimsby and wrapped up my work with Absolutely Cultured’s INTER_CHANGE participants.
I also published a new paper on The Critical Fish website called ‘Equitable Making with our More-Than-Human Kin’ – which was a more thorough and continued reflection on my MA research.
I was struggling a bit with my mood since the start of the year but I proper sank into a pit of depression in March. It lasted a good few months in an acute sense and I continued to feel it in a lesser sense (like a bit ‘hungover’ from it?) for the rest of the year- which impacted my motivation and ability to do much at times. Yeah, it’s been a tough one emotionally.
April
Big thing about April was that I went to Bulgaria with my mum! It was the first big trip abroad I’ve had in years. For my 30th we were going to go to India… but it was 2020 and then Covid happened… so we went abroad for my 34th instead lol. It was amazing and we packed so much within the space of a week – I absolutely loved it. It’s a beautiful country and I’d go back in a heartbeat. It was a good time to go as the sunshine and adventure helped with my mood in quite a big way (an escape from life for a week?).
I also started a year-long accredited Permaculture Design Course with Small Things CIC (which will finish in April ’25) – leaving me as a qualified Permaculture Designer, which I’m really excited about. It’s been a brilliant course and I can’t wait to better integrate everything I’ve learnt into life, practice and land.
I also started this really exciting project with the Ukrainian refugee community in Grimsby at Our Big Picture, culminating in an exhibition in the August called The Living Room. That was lovely. I delivered an Eco-Artivism workshop for HEY Volunteers, which was really good fun too. I was also interviewed for an article about my practice in the Insights of An Eco-Artist online magazine – which was great!
Phil and I also did an afternoon clay workshop making ceramic mushrooms, and went to see a fab pro production of Animal Farm at Hull Truck Theatre.
May
About a week after getting home from Bulgaria (inc the time after I spent at my mums), Phil and I took Merlin for a week in Settle. The hills killed me but it was a great trip! It was brutal and I don’t know how I managed it (and I couldn’t move for two days after) but I climbed one of the three peaks there. I was proud of myself but I’m never doing that again!
I also delivered a day of workshops with Thorsby Primary School for their Kaleidoscope festival, and – because freelance work just wanted coming in enough – I did some exam invidulation at a local secondary. I also performed in an A-Z of Musical Theatre production with HMTC – I sang in a few group numbers but did a solo of Maybe This Time, duet of Take Me or Leave Me, and the female solo bit in Seasons on Love. I would have never had the confidence to do those three big songs a year ago!
June
June was a BUSY month. Did some more invidulation work, finished off/supported the Peel Project mentoring work with a pop-up outdoor exhibition called Faces of Me, and explored the possibility of a new CIC with a friend. Tried to get some more traction in Hull through a Culture Declares Emergency birthday party I also went down to London to see my little sisters Architecture Degree Show.
Fabulous month for seeing theatre too – whilst in London Jas and I saw The Book of Mormon, Phil and I saw the pro tour of Little Shop of Horrors in Hull, and then I watched Beverley Musical Theatre‘s production of Kinky Boots – all fab productions.
I also attempted to get back to the gym again – which lasted about a fortnight lol. Oh well.
July
The big thing this month was obviously Into the Woods! It was my first time ever on a big professional stage and it was pretty anxiety-inducing but it so much fun. I’m so proud of myself honestly – I enjoyed performing and developing strong friendships with my co-stars, as well as supporting with costumes and props. I love the energy of theatre <3 Speaking of HMTC, I put myself up as a committee member at the AGM – I really like this community and want to help make things happen for us all <3 At the AGM I was also presented with the May Elliot Memorial Award, for being the ‘Best Newcomer’. I was so moved, honestly. I also went to see Park Streets production of Sleepy Hollow (a new musical) with some HMTC chums, which I enjoyed.
July also meant a brilliant catch-up at the UNION alumni weekend (this time at Green and Away in Worcester) – again, another community of people I absolutely fucking love. With the ReWilding Programme I also went to a paper mill in Cumbria, which was my idea of a very nice day out.
August
August was also a very busy month full of some pretty big things. We had The Living Room exhibition in OBP in Grimsby (already mentioned), and I performed with the Freedom Choir doing ‘Chanterlanders’ at the Freedom Festival. I engaged in two residencies – one with Phil and Merlin at the new HARI building in Hull as part of the Re:View programme (launching Sept), and a solo one at this beautiful little piece of land inhabited by my friend Monika (and her lovely fella Jake). Both were excellent in their own ways.
Probably the most visible of everything that happened in August was the Hull Friends of the Earth Sh*t Beach action I led. It was hilarious just pissing about in the town centre, and we got so much attention and media coverage, and a lot of people signing the petition for cleaner waterways. I want to continue with joyful campaigning – just because the issues are miserable and the topics can be dry, doesn’t mean we have to campaign like that!
September
The busy-ness continues! The most memorable thing for me that month was the Velvet Voices fundraiser at HOi, where singer Ruth Toynton and I put on a show to raise some cash for local charity Hull Sisters. We raised £140 and I got such an overwhelmingly positive response to my performance – it really sowed a seed of wanting to devise some sort of cabaret act at some point. ALSO, I learnt Park Street were putting on a production of RENT (!!) so I had to audition for that… and I got the role of Joanne! One of my dream roles! Absolutely buzzing about that.
There was the pop-up UNFOLD exhibition at the Pier St Gallery alongside my Feral ReWilders, where we each shared our works-in-progress with the public – it was good. Oh, and I went and saw &Juliet at Hull New Theatre which was thoroughly enjoyable!
October
In October I went back down to London to go to my sisters graduation – proud sister moment! We also went and saw Hadestown together whilst I was there – it was AMAZING! I’d love to play Hermes or Persephone one day…
I did my first proper art-sales stall at the HERFoE Green Fair, where I made some sales and – although I learnt a lot from the experience in regards to effective sales – was pretty validating!
The HARI Re:View exhibition launched this month, where Phil and I (and Merlin) offered an audio-installation work that echoed our observations about the space. I was also invited onto the Aa2a scheme at York St John Uni, meaning that over the coming year I can access the arts facilities there – mega exciting! And again, validating after a tough year creatively! The Orchard was successful in a funding bid as well, meaning that there would be guaranteed freelance work for me in 2025 (taking some pressure off next year). The Hull Maritime funded CloverLore project also kicked off to a brilliant start with the NICEST group of participants ever.
Also another great month performer-wise; I auditioned for Judas and Pilate in HMTCs production of Jesus Christ Superstar, and was offered the role of Pilate! Which was great! We also had a Role Reversal Concert, where I performed Be Prepared (in which I had a great time bullying the audience), Heather McNamara in a choreo’d ‘Candy Store’ performance with my bezzies, and the long-end-note in Bui Doi. I was also invited to do something in the Tales & Scales Halloween Show – to which I dressed up half as Phantom and half as Christine Daae and sang both parts of Phantom of the Opera LOL. I just had fun with that one!
I don’t know why, but the mental health took a dip again around this time (bit more than simply the ‘hangover’ from the spell earlier in the year) – just the nature of it, I guess.
November
After months of busy-ness and validation, things kind’ve dropped off a cliff in November lol. Not necessarily a bad thing I guess but I suddenly had a lot of free time and I can struggle with that (free time + pushing back depression isn’t a good mix!) – so I tried to catch up with friends and do nice things this month. CloverLore continued weekly throughout November, which I loved delivering and I had such a good time with them in exploring the South Blockhouse.
Now we had funding, I also spent some more time supporting the behind-the-scenes development of the Orchard (i.e. website, meetings about getting charity status etc), as well as doing training on how to use some of the equipment needed for Orchard management!
My sister came to Hull for a short visit, and we went and saw Park Streets production of Sunshine on Leith. Phil and I also went and saw a Royal Philharmonic show of movie theme tunes (fab) and I saw Beverley Musical Theatre’s panto (Aladdin) with my MT mates (hilarious).
December
The end of the year ended really quietly as well – I know it’s because it’s winter and nowt happens work-wise on the run up to Xmas but I felt myself spiralling a bit more downwards and I lost all motivation to do anything much. Made the effort to see family and friends though, and be open and honest about my needs to others – both of which were the most important thing to be doing at that time anyway. I went to a birthday party after Xmas that was absolutely wild and I loved it. Need more drunken fun in my life I think ahaha!
We had the HMTC Christmas Concert, which was good – I performed Never Fall in Love with an Elf (a bit out of my comfort zone, but that was the point of doing it) and in all the group numbers. I also went and watched One Off‘s panto ‘Babes in the Wood’ and MiddleChild‘s panto Treasure Island – both of which were excellent.
I co-delivered a lovely wreath-making session at Ferens, and got to work on creating the CloverLore zine for publication and distribution in the New Year. I had an an article published with Unearthodox too, titled ‘Regenerative Practices in Creative Collaboration with our More-Than-Human Kin’ (basically a shortened version of my much longer article from earlier in the year) – which was great. You sometimes feel alone in your thinking and worry that you’re a bit mad – so people WANT to publish and share what you do, it’s highly validating lol.
I also interviewed for – and got – a casual creative freelancer job with the Mary Wollstonecroft Society. It’s a great small charity focused on the life and human rights legacy of Mary W, and I’m looking forward to doing some stuff with them soon.
December is a time for reflection, so I did a lot of that. This blog being an element of it, choosing to advocate for my needs more, as well as planning what I want to be different for 2025. As part of my Permaculture Design Course, I have to create a Permaculture Design for something, and the advice was to do the plan around something you’d be doing anyway. So I decided to design a permaculture plan for 2025, with the focus on how to create a better headspace, focus energies and basically leave 2025 in a better place mentally/emotionally/spiritually than I leave 2024. When it’s fully formed (after April, as I need to do the evaluative bits yet), I’ll do a blog about it to help illustrate what I mean. But for now, it’s about reflecting and mapping, and probably making a deal with the universe again on New Years.
Ok, so I know at the start of this post I said 2024 has been quieter. But when I list it like I have done above… has it fuck lol. I guess it’s been a bit crap financially as a freelancer, and slow developing my own artistic practice, but it’s been an incredible year in terms of performance, community, friendship and fun DESPITE the cloud of depression and insecurity that has hung over the year. I’ve made some fucking awesome friends this year that I can’t imagine being without now.
As to the coming year… well, I’m intending to MANIFEST positivity, joy and abundance, but there’s some great (actual and speculative) stuff in the diary already:
- We’ve got Wassail coming up at the Orchard (loved it last time) and the funding we got means I’ve got support to deliver a little gardening-creative-wellbeing group there when it starts getting warmer (as well as support admin-wise with the charity application). We wasn’t successful with the Petals ACE application this year, but I’d be keen to put in for it again this coming year as well.
- Cait’s got a birthday-do at VoxBox soon with a whole load of us from HMTC – I’ve never been and I know it’s gonna be a great night!
- The ReWilding exhibition at Hull Uni in May (and subsequent book release)
- Since I’m struggling a bit creatively and need to sharpen some technical skills ahead of making stuff for the ReWilding exhibition, I joined a ten-week sewing course and a ten-week handbuilding with clay course (doing the latter with Phil, which will be so nice)
- I haven’t really been able to start with the Aa2a scheme at York St John yet (IT issues, communication issues, all sorts) but when I do that will really help give structure and momentum to the things I want to make
- Rehearsals for RENT with Park Street, and Jesus Christ Superstar with HMTC <3 I’m hoping to be able to support with set and costume design for JCS as well.
- Work (at some point, perhaps in March at least) with the Wollstonecroft Society.
- After initial conversations with MiddleChild, I’m really hoping there will be opportunity to do some R&D on some experimental set-building…
- I’ve got tickets to see Legally Blonde and Chicago (pro show) at Hull New Theatre this year already, and I want to see Rock of Ages as well – and I hope to see more shows on top of that too!
- I plan to celebrate my 35th in a big way.
- Oh! My mum got me and her tickets for a big West End Singing Weekender thing in August – days of singing instruction from professional West End singers! It’ll be incredible!
- My step-brother is getting married in July – so I’ll be going down south for that! It’ll be nice to see him and that side of the family again for the first time in YEARS.
- Got another UNION alumni weekender planned at Green and Away again in July <3
- I’m planning on getting back on the road asap with a few driving lessons. I’m sick of living in fear of it, because some idiot decided to shunt me off the road five years ago. Nah, I need to show myself I can do it.
- There will be a magic spell/ ritual taking place as we tick over into the New Year, and a renewed deal with the Universe. Between me, the Universe and my Permaculture Design, 2025 is gonna be lit.
